If You Had a Choice…

November 18, 2011

Adventurous, charismatic, persuasive, mean, clever, witty, impulsive, kind, energetic, loyal, shy, exciting, driven, easygoing, sneaky, creative, demanding, commanding, optimistic, pessimistic, cocky, passionate. There are so many things we are… and so many things we are not.
When you find out you’re pregnant, people will ask what you want, a boy or a girl? The typical response I’ve heard is, “I just want a healthy baby.” I am not trying to downplay this response – of course we all want healthy babies – but if you’re honest, most of us want something.
Husband and I were recently in the car and we got to talking about what our one-month old she-babe would be like.

“I hope she’s not boring.”
Mike, ever the gentle and rational spirit, inquired “So, out of everything, that’s what you want? Not kind or good?”
“So, she could be mean… or a slut – but not boring?”
(Sluts aside) I said, “Right. Boring sucks.”

Boring doesn’t make you laugh. Boring doesn’t inspire you; it doesn’t make you happy or angry. Boring is just… boring. Like a lot of our conversations, this one made us laugh and then seriously think about what we hoped for our daughter.

I started to think about how others might feel about this. Can anyone honestly say that there aren’t some things you would rather have your child? Not even one thing? Maybe you want your daughter to be the kind of kid that doesn’t care if she wins or loses or maybe you want her to be a fierce competitor? Maybe you want her to be daring and bold or maybe you want her to be reserved, the kind of kid that thinks things through. Maybe you want your son to be sensitive instead of rough. Or funny or not serious. We’ll still love them no matter what but if we had our way… don’t we all have a little preference. Am I the only person?

Then, the other day, on Ellen DeGeneres, Amy Adams was talking about all of the sleepless nights and dramatics that come with being a mom and raising kids and how when she was pregnant she started thinking that she really hoped her kid was funny and said alarmingly to her husband, “What if she’s not? What if she’s not funny?” It became a very irrational concern that her kid be funny.

A few days later, Husband told me about a conference he had with a parent:

 “He’s good in class. He’s respectful. A little chatty…”
With an inclination in her voice as if she was looking for a specific answer, Mom asked, “Is he shy?”
“No.” Husband confirmed.
A sigh of relief, “Good. I don’t want him to be shy,” she replied.

Amy Adams wants a funny kid. Random Mom wants a not shy child. And I, I’d prefer a not boring one. Obviously I’d like lots of other things for Daughter, but not boring is up there.

It doesn’t mean it will happen or that I could (or should) force it, but it’s ok to want. I know that regardless of what she becomes, I am going to love; she’s my daughter. I’ll think she is the most entertaining, witty, clever, kind, and funny girl I know. But, I’d really love for not boring.

So what about you? What would you choose?



(Featured image via)

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