My Story, Valentine

February 14, 2012

We all have a story.

Each chapter of our life tells a different part of that story. Sometimes the characters change, sometimes the characters you meet in the beginning are the characters that are with you until the end. Sometimes there are costume changes: clothes, style, hair, makeup, appearance – it all usually changes within the life of the story. The story can have twists and turns and can be one of adventure, passion, comedy, drama, friendship. And when we’re truly lucky… love.

My story today is about love. Profound, I’ve waited for you all my life didn’t think I would ever find you where were you all this time LOVE.

Ask a room full of strong, intelligent, confident women how easy it is to find a man that can handle strong, intelligent, confident women (like for a LIFETIME handle) and you will find a full room of strong, intelligent, confident, mostly SINGLE women.

This is where my story begins.

“All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been and how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything when you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you.”

My Story by Brandi Carlile

I have been a vibrant, flashy, bull-head since girlhood. Fights with boys, standing up to teachers, intimidating bullies… no one was telling me what to do. I hope the same for my daughter. In my teenage years, this personality suited me well. At a time that people fold to peer pressure, I felt secure and sturdy on the ground of who I was and the story I was living.

When I got to my twenties, an interesting thing started to happen. I started meeting men that, subconsciously, wanted to crush this. I don’t think they meant to but the thing that initially attracted them to me was what eventually caused our demise. If I was passionate in the beginning, by the end I was confrontational. If I was fiery and hot-blooded in the beginning, by the end I was emotional and – don’t cringe, ladies –  crazy. And only women understand that calling us crazy, actually physically makes us CRAZY!

So when relationships would fail, I would be left wondering what I did wrong. I hadn’t changed, had I? I was honest and upfront about who I was and the story I was telling. After a while, I started thinking that maybe it wasn’t that I had changed but that I should change. Girls that I knew to be passive, not challenging, easy to handle, were finding love and settling down so maybe to find love, I also had to be those things. I thought for some time how much easier my quest to find love would be if I could make myself into that person.

But the easy way isn’t always the right way… at least never for me.

I decided to live my story truthfully.

And then a man came along that was able to see all of me for the story that I was: complicated, difficult to understand at times, but well worth the read. He loved me with vigor. He understood that I expected a lot but gave a lot in return. He knew my loyalty was undying and that my love was pure and constant and unwavering and that he was lucky that all that came before him were too short sighted to see what a lifetime with me would mean.

He came along in a way so unique to him and so different than anyone before: quiet, patient, ready. Ready for me. Strong enough to handle life with me. Intelligent enough to know he could. Confident enough to know himself and know that I wasn’t as ferocious as my bark. I loved him quickly. And if you knew him, you’d love him quickly too.

Looking at this man, I realize that the story we tell ourselves about what life should be is seldom the story that life actually becomes. And the story that life becomes is always better than the story you planned on writing anyway.

We all have a story. This one is mine.


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