Part of the World

Lately, as Rafa has been growing (and I mean really growing – she’s not even 4 months and wearing some 12-18 month onesies) I sometimes feel so sad like she’s already getting away from me. She’s already slipping through my fingers and getting older.

There are moments I can’t wait for her to be able to talk and walk and definitely sleep on her own but sometimes I look at her looking at me, letting me cover her in kisses and I think, when this kid is in middle school she’s gonna wanna kick my ass. There’s no way I’ll be able to hold her close and kiss her entire face while she opens her mouth and giggles. At some point, she won’t need me to rock her to sleep anymore and maybe one day, when I sing her her lullaby* she might utter the dreaded words, “Mom… I’m too old for that.”

Ouch.

I have been taught well, by a mother who constantly reinforces that children don’t belong to their parents. They are lent to them by God and while it is a parent’s job to do the best they can in raising them, kids will become their own people and grow into a part of the world, a world you have prepared them for.

I know this. I know it will happen. I just don’t want it to happen.