“You’re so lucky” are the 3 words I hear most often when people talk to me about our life abroad. Followed by “must be nice” and “wish I could…” But the other day as I was unraveling our aluminum dryer vent duct — that we duck-taped and zip-tied together — from behind the dryer out the door to the backyard, I thought to myself I wish people could see this. (So, of course I took a picture and made it a blog post.) My dryer vent duct made me realize that luck has nothing to do with any of it. Our life is a pie of decisions — just like yours, just like anyone’s — and this is the slice we’ve chosen.
Living in Mexico (and in the Dominican Republic) isn’t luck. We weren’t chosen out of a line up. I filled out an application and paid a fee; Husband flew to San Francisco to attend a job fair. He interviewed and then interviewed again and was offered a position. And then we made a scary decision. These were calculated, planned, and organized decisions. Luck didn’t play an integral part of our move, decisions did.
And that was just the first of many decisions. We make decisions every year knowing we’ll miss more friends have babies or get married. We make decisions every month when we decide to live in a house we love over more traveling or when we decide to cram up in a small studio so we could travel for a month instead of not at all.
And we make decisions every day—
when we think about the US dollar to MX peso exchange rate,
when we have the kids pick after school activities at school instead of league sports,
when there is no hot water,
when there finally is hot water but no water pressure and you’re stuck with shampoo in your hair and left eye,
when it’s HELL hot outside and we don’t have AC,
when our children miss their cousins,
when we decide we can’t go home this Christmas,
when we can’t find coffee creamer or red pepper flakes or fresh spinach,
when we know that moving back “home” would most certainly bring ease and convenience to our lives in many ways.
When we are pulling out the duck-taped and zip-tied together silver exhaust vent hose to the backyard so we could use our dryer without choking on the exhaust fumes.
Through every one of those small moments we make a decision to stay.
And now you might be thinking Well, daaaaaaamn. They aren’t lucky at all. Why do they choose to stay?
And the answer is simple. Correction… our answer is simple for us. For our family, the hardships and inconveniences, as plentiful as they are, still do not outweigh the lifestyle we want to live; a lifestyle I am not measuring in fancy vacations and stylish clothes —because that ain’t happening but hardly— but in quality time together, freedom to work from home, and living our life through experiences. We’ve chosen what we want over what we have to give up.
And the point of all this, the point in showing you that we aren’t lucky to be here, but rather that we’ve chosen to be here, is so that you, my lovelies, could understand what that means for YOU. It means that you can choose your “here” too. You don’t need to move to Mexico to make choices in the direction of the life you want, you simply have to make different choices than the ones you’ve been making.
You can decide right now —at this very moment— the kind of life you want and then take steps towards it.
Do you wish you could have more family dinners or family time? Is there an after school activity you can you let go of? Can you find a job closer to home?
Want to travel more and go on adventures with your family? What expense could you give up (daily cappuccinos, perhaps?) or how could you earn an extra $200 a month to fund those adventures? (I know of one.)
Do you want to take up painting again like you did when you were a kid? What TV show can you watch later — or give up — to free up time to pick up a paint brush? (Probably not Game of Thrones but there are plenty.)
My lovelies, every single thing we do is a decision — some easier than others (giving up a cappuccino versus finding a job closer to home) but at their core they are choices. Just as we choose to watch a Netflix marathon, we can choose to start that online design class we’ve been meaning to which also might make us extra income. Just as we choose to fill our schedule with countless events, we can choose to binge-watch Netflix. See how that works?
There isn’t a secret. The medieval Wheel of Fortune isn’t shining upon us and the grass is not greener (actually it’s brown and dry because the sun here burns it.) There is no luck here… just boring choices that guide us to the extraordinary life we’re chasing.
