We know date night is important. Science says so. And we know we have to make time for things that are important. But life gets busy and school starts and soccer practice is three days a week and reports are due and appointments need to be planned…and…. and…. and…. Fine. Life gets away from us all and before we know it weeks, maybe months, have passed since we’ve paid real attention to our partner, our bashert, the glue to our glitter. “But we’re just so busy,” you say. Yes. I know. So I’ve come up with some ways for how to make time for date night even when you have no time for date night.
P l a y H o o k y
This is my favorite. And yes, I mean take off of work. Husband and I did this before we had kids and it was one of my favorite days of the year. Around Christmastime we would take off the same day and head in to New York City. We’d take the train in, have breakfast in a cozy spot, and get lost in the holiday daze — stopping for hot chocolate and window shopping and, of course, the tree at Rockefeller Center. It doesn’t have to be “NYC Grand” either. Once we went to the beach, another time we used our date day and went Christmas shopping for the kids. The point is to spend the day together. I’m not saying to call out of work once a month but taking a personal day for you and the love of your life will pay you back in full.
P l a y s c r a b b l e
A little friendly competition is a great way to flirt. So send your partner an invite and challenge them to any online game. This will keep you connected throughout the day even if you’re not together.
C o o k t o g e t h e r
It’s easy to get home and find different things that should get done. The living room should be picked up, grading should get finished, and emails should be sent. But dinner is one of the things that typically isn’t a should — it’s a need. It needs to be made. Decide once in a while that dinner will be made together. My husband is the cook in our house so sometimes I play sous chef and help him chop or sometimes he just wants company so I pour the wine.
D o L u n c h
I know plenty of people, myself included, that used to work through lunch. Stop doing that. (I say that for me as much as for you.) Other than scientific research showing that taking lunch breaks actually makes you more productive, it’s a great time to spend cultivating relationships. When my husband was teaching and I was working flexibly from home, I’d try to make it in for lunch everyday. It wasn’t a major time commitment and it doesn’t have to happen everyday — maybe once a week or once a month — but it’s 30 minutes to look forward to and catch up.
U s e t e c h n o l o g y
Guys technology may be killing our brain cells but it is useful. It’s very possible that work is far away and you can’t physically have lunch together so make technology work for you and have a video lunch date. It’s not quite the same thing but I know people that do far crazier things with technology these days than a lunch date. So…. I’ll just leave that there.
b u y a b o t t l e o f w i n e
Husband and I have started a new thing: every week we buy a bottle of wine. It certainly isn’t expensive but here’s what it is: a reminder. The simple act of buying a different bottle of wine every week, signifies that we are going to uncork it and drink it… together. It sits on the counter as a reminder that Tuesday evening or Thursday after work or whatever time you choose is your time to sit, sip, and talk.
B a b y s i t t i n g S w a p
Chances are you have friends that have kids your age who are also looking for some adult time so set up a time with them when you can watch their kids and vice versa. I’d happily watch This Is Us at my friend’s house while her kids slept if it meant she’d do the same for me next week.
Do you have any ideas on how to have date night in small pockets of time?
P.S. A date and tasting adventure and how to keep things fresh
