Invest in Yourself and Silence Guilt: Your Dreams are at Stake

As many of you know, (because I’ve been wildly posting about it) I’ll be traveling to LA this week to attend Oprah’s 2020 Vision Tour. To say I’m excited just doesn’t quite reach the actual excitement. The emotion I’m feeling is more like once-in-a-lifetime, dream status. Like, “I feel like I’m either going to scream or sob the entire time I’m there. Or it’s quite possible that I might pass out from joy and elation and miss everything,” which is what I said to a friend today.

That’s the kind of emotion I’m talking about—and yet, I almost didn’t go.

Before I continue you should know that I’m a strong advocate for women making time for themselves, and more importantly, investing in themselves. It shouldn’t be a treat to invest in yourself whether that means: a degree, a trip, or a manicure. It should be mandatory. Husband goes on professional development trips all the time and I support his learning. (Even though that means I’m single-momming like a boss while he’s at Christmas Markets in Copenhagen.) And this is my equivalent. I’m not going to LA to sightsee (though I will), I’m going to set a vision for 2020 and beyond. I’m going to fulfill a life dream by one of the greatest teachers of my lifetime. LA could have been anywhere. I would have gone anywhere. LA just happened to be the quickest and cheapest flight from where I am.

My point being, I believe in this. When Oprah says, “Live your best life,” I’m all for it. I encourage women to invest in themselves all the time. And yet, as I mentioned, I second-guessed this decision more times than I could tell you and I think it’s important to share why and how this applies to you.

Why I Second Guessed it

Guilt is nothing new for me; it wages constant battles. But big investments like this really hit straight on, particularly in the fields of finances and mom life.

Let’s start with the financial side. As the stay-at-home and work-from-home parent, Husband is the main money-maker. Financially giving myself permission is haaaaaaaaard with all the extra a’s and some a’s I didn’t include. Even though I’ve been contributing through freelance work and my skincare business, I feel guilty that it isn’t more.

Then there’s the mountain of mom guilt—and it isn’t just the obvious I-won’t-be-around guilt either. It comes in the form of wishing I could take them with me and give them this experience. Daughter legit sobbed and begged me to take her with me. Heart officially broken. And that’s how powerful guilt is! Their whole life is an adventure and I felt remorse that I couldn’t bring her along.

Moral of the story. Guilt doesn’t have to have even an ounce of legitimacy to feel real.

But here’s where I get all encouragey on you.

how this applies to you

If someone like me—who believes you should invest in yourself, who roots for dreams, who realizes professional development is imperative to growth, who loves Oprah so much she buys her magazine even though she lives in Mexico and can’t get the damn magazine for 6-12 months—if I could get sucked into the guilt trap… we are all vulnerable.

BUT…

But vulnerable doesn’t mean defeated.

Because as hard as guilt fought, I’m still going to LA.

See I know what guilt doesn’t know—that life is the long game.

I’m not wasting money, I’m investing in myself. Choosing myself doesn’t mean I’m not choosing my kids. It means that I value myself enough to do things that matter to me, things that will make me better—a better mom, a better woman, and a better human. How you choose to invest in yourself now, reverberates into the future. What you do to make yourself better, benefits everyone around you. Invest in yourself and you can’t help but invest in others.

Guilt is a dream killer; it’s a right now emotion that fogs up possibility. But if you look closer, you’ll realize that you actually see pretty clearly.

Let guilt have it’s immediate, short-sighted battles. You take the war.

P.S. Cut Yourself a Freaking Break