8 Things My Kids Absolutely Do Not Need for Christmas

Around the holidays, I’m in emotional turmoil about what to give my kids for Christmas. Christmases of long ago (ok – of long, long ago) when I was a kid, my parents and grandparents spoiled us rotten, truckloads of gifts in garbage bags bursting out of their cars like a clown car. As a kid, Christmas wasn’t my favorite holiday because of the Mount Everest living room of parents, but, gosh, it was pretty awesome. As a parent, I know that a truck load of gifts won’t make or break the hearts of my kids, but throughout the year we purposefully don’t buy them much so when Christmas rolls around, I might go slightly overboard. As a responsible and (trying to be) conscious adult, the purchased sea of toys that might or might not get played with and the waste of wrapping paper, ribbons, boxes, plastic, money and overall disposables makes me nauseous in that throw-up-in-my-mouth kind of way. It’s a process I’m working on; finding the fine line of gift-giving.

However, this morning, I discovered a big, fat, blinking red line, a line I know I will never cross, let alone touch with a ten-foot North Pole. It is the things-my-kids-absolutely-do-not-need-for-Christmas line. (Also known as the things-my-kids-will-never-get-for-Christmas line) I discovered it as I was reading my emails this morning and saw a Gift Guide type email. I opened it to check the “Gift for Kids” section, when, what to my wondering eyes did appear – the most ridiculously expensive gifts. My first thought was Seriously?! Followed by my second thought which was Where did they get this email since they obviously do not know my income. 

A Holiday Dress, $355.

Ummm… if Mommy doesn’t have an Oscar de la Renta dress – or any designer dress, for that matter, that costs that much (including her wedding dress) – Daughter certainly doesn’t need one either.

An Extra Large Flamingo Stuffed Toy, $185.

I will be the first to admit that these pink, feathery flyers are fabulous… but not that fabulous.

Cashmere Mittens, $95.

You know how many pairs of mismatched mittens my kids own? Every pair. Because they lose a mitten every single time they leave the house. This year, they could use the pockets attached to their coats to keep their hands warm.

LEGO Star Wars Ultimate Collector’s Millenium Falcon, $5,999.99. 

It wasn’t until my nephew got into LEGO’s  that I realized how insanely expensive these iconic toys are but this takes the cake. From what I gather, it isn’t even a limited edition or original prototype. It does say that it comes with Han Solo, Chewbacca, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, and Leia Organa mini figures. I’m all, you can keep your Hans Solo. In full disclosure, I did see it for a less expensive price of $4,600.

Blinged Out Pacifier, $17,000.

W…T…F. Is is even safe to suck on diamonds?

A Red Wool Knit Scarf that costs $113.06

I think my grandmother had a scarf that looked like this that she wore every winter for 67 winters. Maybe then, spending more than $15 for a scarf would make financial sense. If I order it in blue could I get a discount?

This Red Knit Wool Hat with Fur Pom, 143.21

It does say that it is made of virgin wool. Does that mean the sheep waited until after she was married to lose her virginity?

A Rainy Day Money Box

… that is $423. I’m pretty sure if I had an extra $423 laying around, I wouldn’t have to save for a rainy day.