Good Gifts for Bad Moms (and if you don't like them you could f*ck off)

The reason the movie Bad Moms was such a stinking success – so much so that they made a sequel for the holidays – is because it’s so true. Every mom strives to make the holidays perfect for their kids. Waking up in the wee morning and elbowing other moms for the toy of the year is the least of it. We think of fun places to put our elf, we wrap until our fingers hurt, we egg nog with the best of them, we run around the neighborhood at dark searching for the origin of loud, party-like Christmas music because maybe it’s Santa (no? just me?) So, when I say that we deserve these fun gifts for bad moms, I ain’t playing. We deserve everything on this damn list. (*Some products contain affiliate links.)

Cocktail Ornaments

Let’s be real, we drink. It’s a lifestyle. So get me these damn ornaments to hang on my tree. (Target, $10)

Take me Away

Let’s not play around here. You know we need a vacation, right? (Preferably with other bad moms.) Well now Airbnb has a gift card feature! It starts at $25 but feel free to go extra. No, seriously… go extra. (Airbnb, price varies)

Dirty stay out girl pack

Since we’re already going away with other bad moms, we’ll need this. In college, after a night of dancing and laughing and drinking and staying out too late, we’d come back feeling gross and dirty. So we called each other dirty stay out girls. We actually used to joke about making a Dirty Stay Out Girl Kit. Well, here it is. An easy way to clean off a GREAT night with the girls. Comes with eye cloths to wipe the dirty off you, a Bright Eye cream for puffy, tired eyes, and a mineral powder to freshen you up and FREE pouch! (Rodan + Fields, $118 (w/o brush),$145 (w/brush) Or contact me.

Stitch fix

We all want to look our best with the least amount of effort. Well, this is the answer. Fill out a style profile one time and rate what you think of certain styles. Stitch Fix then assigns you a stylist who uses your answers (and social media profiles if you add them) to create a look for you. A box of 5-6 things is sent straight to your house that you could pair together for more than one look. You keep whatever you like (25% discount if you keep everything) and send back what you don’t. There’s a $20 styling fee if you don’t keep anything but chances of that happening are slim. This is what obsessions are made of. (Stitch Fix, price varies)

Mixtiles

Although maybe we should hide all evidence of our night out, it would be great to have a reminder of all the fun we had. It connects to your Instagram or pictures from your phone. They’re removable and reusable so if you’re still drunk when you hang them – no worries. They come off. (Mixtiles, $49 for first 3, $9 each additional)

The Carry On Cocktail Kit

ummmmmmm…. yes please. You could go for the single carry on cocktail but who are you kidding? One drink? Go for the Holiday Sets. The 3 pack will do or go for the gold and get the 6 pack. It makes 12 drinks and comes with all the love: Old Fashioned, Moscow Mule, Gin and Tonic, Bloody Mary, Hot Toddy, Champagne Cocktail. (Sawdust + Oil Holiday Set 6 Pack, 129.99) (The Carry on Cocktail Kit Holiday Set 3 Pack, $89.99)