7 Self-Date Ideas That You’ve Heard Before but Haven’t Done…And Bring Wine

Before the global pandemic shit hit the fan, I had started The Artist’s Way* a widely popular book about higher creativity (though in my opinion, it’s really just about becoming a fuller version of yourself). One of the things that the author, Julia Cameron, instructs is scheduling a weekly date with yourself—what she calls an Artist Date. Essentially, it’s you dating yourself. And if you think about it, why wouldn’t you do that? You are your most important relationship. As a single person, you date people to see who you connect with. When you’re dating, you go on dates to get to know the other person better. When you’re married and have kids, you go on dates to reconnect and, let’s be real, get the hell outta the house. You schedule Girl’s Weekend and Guy’s Night but why not a Self-Date, a time to reconnect to you? So to make it easier for you to take yourself on a self-date, I’ve made a list of self-date ideas so you can spend time with yourself and remind yourself of who you are and what you want in this world.

Most of these things aren’t ingenious, mind-blowing things. The mind-blowing part is making time for yourself and doing it. So choose one today and get started on loving yourself and feeling all those giddy feelings you get when you start dating someone but get giddy about YOU! I’m excited just thinking about this for you.

a Picnic with yourself

As I’m writing this one, I’m literally mind-planning it for myself. The kids are going to be sooooo jealous. I’m going to bring a blanket to my room, some favorite snacks that will probably include cured meats and potato chips, and wine. Of course, wine. I’m going to sit on my blanket and drink wine and eat chips and not give a shit where the crumbs fall—I’ll clean that later. And I’m going to read a book or watch a movie and laugh alone or cry alone and it’s going to be everything. (Follow DTWB on Instagram because I’ll definitely post pictures of MY ALONE PICNIC)

Spa Night yo self

You’ve heard it before but be honest—how often do you actually spa night yourself? Like run a hot bath, slather on a lavish ass mask, add a shit ton of salts (so many salts you could taste it), play some meditation bath gong playlist, lotion and oil up, and pour yourself wine? (Of course, wine.) How often? I want answers. Because if you haven’t done that in the last month, my guess is that you haven’t done it in like 2 years. So what are you waiting for? In the time it will take you to finish this post, the tub will be done filling and then in ya go. 

there’s nothing crazy about laughing alone.

Husband and I did this on a date night so I’m stealing this from us but he won’t mind. This week, instead of binge-watching a show, which is it’s own kind of luxury—I know—turn up that special notch and stream a concert or comedy special. Dress up if you want, mix yourself a cocktail, and make it a thing, make it an “evening.” Just you and Seinfeld… or Dave Matthews… or Yo-Yo Ma. Whatever’s your thaaang.

Take a Walk

Guys, it’s this easy. Take a walk. It only gets hard when I say these six words: Leave your cell phone at home (or is it 5? Is cellphone 1 word?). Gasp. I know, I said that. But it can be done. Humans before 1996(ish) used to leave their house without a mobile phone all the time. Be alone with yourself and see what happens. What do you think about it? Did something make you laugh? What did you discover about yourself?

be a Garden hoe

I know I’m an outright adult now because I love my freaking garden, people. (Side note: I think gardens are an official pass to adulthood.) I can only keep succulents alive but it doesn’t even matter; I love spending time pruning and digging and watching things grow. It’s freaking magical. And creative. And even if you talk to them, it still counts as a self-date.

Make some shit

Being creative is such an easy way to spend time with yourself and to get to know where you’re at right now. Take out a coloring book and start coloring. What colors are you drawn to today? Pull out old magazines and make a collage of this last year of your life. What images/words keep coming up? Do you like those images and words? Do you want to change the images and words you see? Hmmm… interesting. Doodle. I used to love doodling in college and then just stopped. So now I’m trying to doodle again. And of course, paint. Even if you think you suck. Just paint and see what comes out. You don’t have to hang it on your wall or anything, Picasso, just paint it.

you get a Virtual Class, you get a Virtual Class, everyone gets a Virtual Class

Ok, these are technically not “alone” but doing something without the safety net of someone you know teaches you a lot about yourself too. And because of our current (lockdown) situation, virtual is thriving and plentiful. Airbnb has a freaking ton! You could do a virtual wine tasting, a virtual painting hour, a virtual cooking class, a virtual cheese board class, a virtual salsa class (both the dance and the Mexican topping kind). Friends, the possibilities are endless. What did you use to love? There’s probably a virtual class for it! Find it and take it.

I really hope you plan a self-date with yourself. And if you do, share it with me! Let me know in the comments or post it on Instagram and tag me @drinkingthewholebottle 

The next round is on me: Build a “U” of friends and the Alexa routine that has saved my a** on quarantine

• For those that have never heard of it, it’s a widely popular book—and has been for about 28 years—about finding “a spiritual path to higher creativity.”