My daughter hates roosters. Well, she did. Maybe that’s changed. I hope so. Truth be told, the roosters didn’t do anything.
We were spending the weekend in Ajijic—a small, artsy town next to Lake Chapala, an hour south of Guadalajara, Mexico—when Daughter, very matter of fact, said, “I hate roosters.”
Husband and I looked at each other. Our heads leaned back in confusion and curiosity. Daughter isn’t a champion of animals per se but she is certainly a kid who will attempt petting, talking, or loving on most little creatures.
“Whaaaat?” I asked. “Where did that come from?”
“I don’t know. I just do.” Kid responses can be so basic.
“But…why? That seems so random.” We laughed.
She honestly didn’t know. She just did. That was the end of the story.
That Monday morning, our Amazon Alexa alarm went off as it has for the last few years. I’ve programmed it to sound off with a morning message and a different motivational type song everyday. But wait… before the morning message… is that….?
Yes. That’s a rooster sound. Cock-a-doodle-dooo. I remember that Alexa also has sounds you can program. When we were online learning a whistle would blow everyday before recess. When Alexa was reminding Son that he had a class, a wolf would howl. Daughter’s reminder was a koala coo-ing. Around Christmas time, jingle bells would lead the wake up. But mostly, it was the rooster.
Every freaking morning.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo.
It was dark and they were tired and being woken up and they had to go to school.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo.
Cock-a-doodle-dooo
Day after day after day, she heard the rooster… and she grew to hate the rooster. The hate was internal and quiet. She didn’t realize it was happening until one day she just hated it and she didn’t know why.
And here’s where my metaphor-loving, writer brain digs in deep…
What’s the rooster in your life?
What are you subconsciously hearing?
What is being repeated so often that it’s changing how you feel?
The news tells us that we’re divided and beyond repair. Does that affect how you interact with others from a different political or religious side?
Magazines and social media show us what beauty standards are and without realizing it, you hate the cellulite on your thighs because cellulite equals fat and fat equals not so attractive. Forget if it’s a true formula or not, you believe it. And it’s subconscious so you don’t even realize you believe it.
Your partner tells you you’re worthless in quiet ways, picking at the way you do every. single. thing—so often that it’s like background noise. You learn to “ignore” it. But you aren’t really ignoring it because it has seeped in to your skin, your muscles, your very bones.
Your relatives come from a traditional background where women have roles. Women work but they also take care of their home and their man and their family—nuclear and extended. It’s what you see so it’s what you learn and when you try to live a different way, you’re faced with decades of generational crap that tells you you’re an outcast.
Or maybe the Cock-a-doodle-dooo-ing comes straight from the source. Maybe it’s your internal voice attacking you, berating you, shaming you. Regrets you have, mistakes you’ve made, old stories that keep playing.
You hate the rooster. But you don’t know why.
Stop right now and pay attention.
Bring the subconscious forward.
Do an inventory of what you’ve been hearing…
About your body.
About your potential.
About your sex.
About your roles.
About yourself.
And then, and this is the most important part, shut off the rooster. The poor rooster isn’t to blame but it does need to be silenced.
I grabbed my phone that Monday morning and turned off the rooster sound.
If only, deleting the other things we internalize were as simple to control.
P.S. 4 Ways to Feel Less Overwhelm
Featured image:
Kati Hoehl
@helenatheactress
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